i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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