he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
