yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
