PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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