i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
