i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry