I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
