We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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