I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
