come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
