Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he thought i was a dude.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
