I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
