oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
