I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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