did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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