So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
