also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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