we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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