I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
