EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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