Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
