I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
