I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
