my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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