mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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