how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
