Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need water and some morals
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
