Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
