Little spoons don't ask big questions
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
