it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
