fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
