I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
