I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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