Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
