think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
