Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize