you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she told me i tasted like america
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
