my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
