How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
