My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize