you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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