I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
