I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
