i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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