The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
