I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
