All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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