Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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