Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
