I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
