I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I cannot find my penis.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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