This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
