My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You don't make any sense
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