Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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