I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
