Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
