90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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