How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
