If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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