so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
