I will die if light touches me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
