It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
tell me about the eggs
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