the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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