Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
