It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
