if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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