mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
