We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
