I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
