We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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